© Edward De la Torre

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A Hole the Size of Your Laugh

I decided to add a few more photos to the "Headless" set I shot back in October for my "Art Dies in Comfort" post. I was in a very different place then but I found it cathartic to be able to express myself through my chosen medium.

Photography is often (for me) an observational experience whereupon I make decisions about the subject in front of me and how they reflect on myself. I don't enjoy making art about myself because it genuinely hurts. Looking inward can really suck sometimes but when I steer into my discomfort, share it, and see the response it really makes me happy.

"Nothing brings people together more quickly (though often spuriously and deceitfully) than shared melancholy; this atmosphere of quiet understanding, which puts all manner of fears and inhibitions to sleep and is easily comprehended by the refined and vulgar, the erudite and unlettered, is the most simple route to rapport, yet extremely rare: for one has to lay aside cultivated restraints, cultivated gestures and facial expressions, and be simple; how I managed to do it (suddenly, with no preparation), I who'd always fumbled blindly behind my false faces, I do not know; I do not know, but it was like an unexpected gift, a miraculous liberation." - From Milan Kundera's "The Joke". 

It's therapy for me. It forces me to use the camera to look inward and expose my demons to light so I can wrestle with them. I don't expect to ever become a never ending well of happiness, but I do expect to have a wider sense of empathy for the difficulties in life through this practice.

 Running a business and worrying about your online presence is a reality. Sometimes I fear posting these things might hurt my image but I think to avoid feeling like I do in these photos - distracted, unsatisfied, out of the moment - I need allow some vulnerability in. 

I may add more to this series as time passes. Have there been any situations where you found yourself out of the moment in the hum drum of life? Disconnected from everyone and creativity?

  • Cosmo Makeup Academy 12.16.2018

    My friend Jannyna called me in to take a few beauty shots for the Academy she works for, Cosmo. We shot at their Cerritos Location. Here are a few highlights.